


that first breath

by BeStillMySlashyHeart



Series: same script, different lines [5]
Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:13:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25807918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: She is the first.She is the last.Both statements are true.
Series: same script, different lines [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853176
Comments: 14
Kudos: 388





	that first breath

**Author's Note:**

> what if it was Nile in the water?

She’s the first.

She’s the last.

Both statements are true.

Her world is water. It is pain. It is cold. It is dark.

She does not remember the sun, not the feel of it, not the the sight of it. 

She does not remember what air is, how it feels to breathe. 

She does not remember the feel of the earth. Not the dirt under hands or the sand under her feet. 

She does not remember the sound of voices. 

She does not remember. Her world is water.

\---

Her life exists in moments, in heartbeats of life in between long periods of death. Somehow, she does not know how, she starts to dream. In the second between life and death, her eyes close and she _sees_.

The sun is hot. It burns her skin.

Her lungs expand and contract. The air smells sweet.

Earth is not one thing. It is dirt and sand and rocks and trees and grass. It is everything.

Her mouth opens and sound comes out. It sounds like peace.

\---

There is pain. It is different than the pain of the water. It hurts her in her stomach, in her throat, in every piece of her body. And then there is another pain. She thinks it might be called heartbreak, if she remembered such a word. 

\---

It is cold. She knows cold but not this cold. The world is not dark. It is bright, even in its darkness. And it is white. Pure white as far as the eye can see.

\---

Her lips move, trying to form words and sounds she cannot know. There is sound, rhythmic, unlike words. The voices rise and fall.

She thinks it might be called music.

But she does not remember.

\---

Her heart burns and it does not hurt. 

Her shoulders sag and there is no pain.

She breathes and it is sweet.

She feels a touch and it feels safe.

\---

She does not remember.

She never remembers.

But she learns.

\---

In heartbeats. In moments stolen between life and death. In moments that are hers but also someone else’s, she learns.

Sounds become words. Words become languages. 

Pain becomes wounds. Wounds become death. Death becomes breath. Breath becomes life.

Sound becomes music.

Touch becomes safe becomes home becomes love. 

\---

She learns that the touch of a woman can ease her mind. 

She learns to see the world in another man’s eyes and it is enough. 

She learns the pain of bringing life into the world and watching it leave it.

She learns.

\---

The world changes.

It is both bigger and smaller than she can dream. She’d once though the world was no bigger than her home and infinite at the same time, though she does not remember why.

In truth it is both. There is far more to the world than she could have imagined. But it, like all things, does not go on forever.

There are more people. Each of them different from the one before them. 

There are more buildings. Some are similar and some are not. 

There are fewer trees. 

\---

Her world changes. 

It is not quite so dark.

It is not quite so cold.

\---

It is hot. 

It is dry.

Her mouth opens, her lungs expand, and she _breathes_. 

It is not a dream. 

\---

They are there. Five people. Three men. Two women. They stare at her as if she is not real. She stares at them because she knows that they are.

A woman steps forward, eyes wide. “My name is Andromache.”

She inhales slowly and deeply. She knows her name. She knows all of their names.

And she remembers her own.

“Nile.”

**Author's Note:**

> the only way to have Nile in the water would be to have her be older than she is in canon but I didn't want to change anything so I thought what if she was the oldest? and she's been in the water since before way Andy was even born?


End file.
